Forte
by Rodney'sAngel
Summary: Supernatural according to my world. Some things are true to the series, others are not. Lots of Sam & Dean fluff! There is more to this story, but I will only update if people REVIEW. Castiel in Chap. 3. Rated T for language and violence.
1. Chapter 1

**Forte**

Another empty motel room… Sam thought he would be used to it by now. He glanced at Dean. His older brother was calm, despite the fact that he was wounded. A werewolf had scratched Dean from shoulder to hip across the front. Dean had to be in pain, but he hadn't said a word as they drove. Now he peeled his t-shirt off over his head. The three claw marks were jagged and bleeding. Sam was bleeding, too. He had a cut from the palm of his hand to the crook of his elbow, but it wasn't his chief concern at the moment. Dean was. Sam picked up the first aid kit and gestured Dean toward the dingy bathroom. Dean shook his head and held out a hand for the kit. Sam wouldn't budge. "I can do it myself, Sammy." "Not without causing yourself pain, Dean. Go on into the bathroom, shut up, and be still." Dean was too tired to argue with Sam. His temper was in full swing and he cracked Sam across the face, startling the younger man.

Dean took the first aid kit and went into the bathroom, shutting the door behind him. Sam heard the lock click. He was stunned. Dean almost never hauled off that way, especially since Sam became an adult. Nineteen hardly counted as grown up, but still. An hour later, Dean came out of the bathroom. He crossed the room to Sam and yanked up his little brother's sleeve. The blood was mostly dried by now. Dean was being a hypocrite, but Sam didn't say a word. He held still while Dean cleaned the cut. Despite the fact that his temper remained just below the surface, Dean wasn't rough in his cleaning. When he finished he looked at Sam. "Get some sleep, Sammy, we move first thing tomorrow." Sam watched Dean get into his own bed before obeying his older brother.

They had been on the road an hour before Dean spoke. "You think this thing is just an ordinary poltergeist, Sammy?" "We can hope can't we?" Dean nodded. Silence reigned for about another half an hour. "I'm sorry, Sammy." "Okay, Dean." They entered the town. It was an average ghost-hunting couple of days. Soon enough, Sam found himself back behind the wheel of the Impala, searching for the next motel. He and Dean got a room. The poltergeist had been particularly nasty and Sam hoped they would lie low for a few days. Dean hadn't said one way or another if his claw marks were healing. Sam decided it was time to ask. "How are your chest and torso doing?" Dean looked at him for a moment. "The scratches are infected, Sammy." "Now will you let me look at them?" "I don't see that there's anything you can do." "Dean," Sam snapped. "All right, all right you win." Dean took off his shirt and undid the bandages.

Sam had to grind his teeth to keep from swearing. He took a step toward Dean, but stopped when his older brother flinched. "I won't let you touch them." Sam swore. "You have to let me touch them, Dean. I can't help you if you won't let me touch you." "I'm not letting you touch the scratches." "Dean, will you stop being so God damn stubborn? You're worse than a mule! Quit being a pain in the ass and let me do what little I can." Dean nodded and Sam came forward for a closer look. He took Dean into the bathroom and soaked a piece of an old t-shirt in warm water. Sam used the scrap of fabric to press against Dean's chest. The older man was steady under his little brother's touch. It was an hour before Sam was satisfied that he'd done all he could for Dean. The brothers went to bed without another word.

The smell of coffee woke Sam the next morning. Dean had brought them breakfast. "Research day, Sammy, or we'll never heal." Sam nodded. They would spend the day learning new ways to fight various beasties. Another field day would kill them both. Throughout the day, the brothers spoke little. Around six o'clock they went down to the motel basement to do laundry. They spoke little there as well. As the brothers were folding the last of their clothes, Dean's cell phone rang. He answered it and listened for a long moment. "We're on our way," he barked. "What is it, Dean?" "We have to go to Bobby's." They packed up and took off. It took them three days to get to Bobby's place. By then, it was too late for anything but the funeral. John was dead and now all Dean and Sam had left was each other.

The days slipped into weeks and the weeks slipped into months. It had now been six, by Sam's count. He was going crazy, standing in Bobby's kitchen. He could hear Dean outside, trying to beat one of Bobby's old pick-ups into driving again. Bobby had been smart enough to go visit some friends. He knew better than to try and deal with the Winchester brothers. Finally, as the sun started to set, Dean came inside. He took a shower and entered the kitchen. Sam didn't remember the last time he'd seen Dean eat something. Maybe that morning back at the motel when Dean had brought breakfast? Sam closed his eyes and wished the whole thing had never happened. He opened them again when he felt Dean close by. The Winchester brothers let their breath mix. Sam willed Dean to reach out and touch him.

Dean was well aware that Sam was waiting to be touched. It had been a long time since the brothers had touched. Dean tried to think of the last time John had touched either of them. It had been long, long before his death. Sam turned away, evidently tired of waiting. Dean reached up and laid a hand on the back of Sam's neck. He felt the tightness leave his little brother's muscles. Sam turned back to face Dean and brought his hand to his older brother's face. Dean gave a ghost of a smile and shook his head. "We can't stay here forever, Sammy." "Not forever, Dean, just for a little while longer." Dean nodded. He wasn't about to push Sam on this one. The beasties would just have to behave. A single tear slipped down Sam's cheek. Dean kissed it, stopping it in its tracks. The brothers embraced.

The Winchester brothers both lay in bed reminiscing that night. Dean was thinking about the time Sam was six and had gotten bubble gum stuck in his hair. Sam was thinking about the time Dean was seventeen and had taken them joyriding in the Impala. Their father had been super pissed both times. Dean thought of how John had broken out cussing when he saw Sam with the gum all over his sandy blonde hair. Sam had already been pretty miserable and had fled from their father's anger, into Dean's arms. Dean had been thirteen at the time and had watched John rant until he stormed out. Once their father was gone, Dean had retrieved a pair of scissors and done his best with Sam. When Dean was finished, Sam curled up against him and trembled himself to sleep. John had returned late to find them both sound asleep. He had told Dean in the morning that he'd done well. It was the closest thing to praise he ever gave. And Dean hated that it had mattered so much to hear those words. He knew he worshipped his father.

The joyriding story didn't end so well. It was being in the car with Dean alone and free that had made Sam laugh. They hadn't gone far, but they sure went fast. It was a simple half hour of laughter and happiness. John had come in later that night, wanting to know how the Impala had lost gas. Dean told him the truth and John didn't even bother with a tirade. Sam remembered vividly how his father had simply reached into his suitcase and pulled out a belt. Sam had closed his eyes, but he had no way to block out the sound of the ten sharp cracks of John's discipline. Later, when John had stepped out, Dean had come to Sam. "It was totally worth it, Sammy. Too much time had passed since we'd had a little fun." Sam had grinned at Dean. "Dean?" asked Sam now. "What is it, Sammy?" "You're my hero, you know that?"

"Thanks, bro, but you may want to rethink that." "I have thought about it a lot. You used to be my hero just because you're my big brother. Now you're my hero because you're the strongest person I know. I hate to go all chick-flick on you, but I figured I should tell you while you're here." "You can still tell me stuff once I'm gone, Sammy." "I know, Dean, but I just wanted you to hear it now." "As long as we're in chick-flick mode, I look at you and still see the six year old with bubble gum in his hair." "Oh, that was ridiculous. I don't know how many times you'd told me to stay out of your gum." "That's why I had no sympathy for you when I cut your hair shorter than it had ever been." "I didn't mind it so much. I was grateful that it was you handling the scissors and not Dad. He was so pissed at me." The brothers were quiet for awhile, both grieving for John.

Sam was having a nightmare. It wasn't about the future, or any sort of beastie. It was an ordinary nightmare, about losing Dean. Sam woke with a jolt, screaming Dean's name. Dean was beside him in a heartbeat, his hand gripping Sam's shoulder. "Sammy, hey, hey, it's all right, it's okay. I'm here, what the hell's the matter with you?" Sam took a few deep breaths. "Tell me a story, Dean. One that isn't about beasties and ugliness," Sam breathed the words. "A few months before Mom died, me, you, her, and Dad went on a picnic together. It was the first time you'd ever had peanut butter and Mom let me give you some off my finger. You liked it, but had a hard time with how sticky it was. It's an earlier memory of mine."

"I don't like peanut butter, Dean." "I know you don't, Sammy. What was your nightmare about?" "It was nothing important, no beasties, or clues, or anything like that." "Answer the question I asked you, Sam." "My nightmare was about you. I dreamt that I'd lost you somehow. No matter what I did, you were never coming back. It scared me." Dean was surprised. There was very little that scared Sam anymore. He reached out to touch his brother's face. Sam pulled back, not used to being touched. Dean simply reached up to pet Sam like a puppy. It was a gesture Sam remembered from when they were younger. He tried to think of just when Dean stopped doing it. Dean was moving back to his own bed. "Dean?" "What is it, Sammy?" "One more time?" he asked quietly. Dean brushed his fingers through Sam's hair. "Goodnight, little brother." "Goodnight, big brother."

A/N: All right, that's it for now, guys, but I have more. Someone review and I will update. Teaser: Castiel in future chapters...


	2. Chapter 2

The next morning dawned early for the Winchester brothers. Sam headed out to get some coffee. Dean was in the shower by the time he got back. Sam could hear him singing. He missed that sound. Dean used to sing him lullabies when he was little and couldn't sleep. It was one of the few things that killed the nightmares. Dean never sang anymore. Sam supposed there wasn't really anything to sing about. Sam pulled that day's paper out of his back pocket. He'd caught a lead and it was about time they got back on the road again. Bobby deserved his house back and the world needed hunters. Dean shut the water off. He was still singing. Sam kept still. He knew if Dean heard him, he'd stop singing. "Sammy, you'd better have coffee with you or I'll tan your jacket." Sam actually laughed. "I have coffee, Dean." The thought of Dean's threat made Sam smile. It had been years since he'd had his "jacket tanned" by anyone, let alone Dean.

Dean came down the stairs and into the kitchen. He picked up a cup of coffee and took the newspaper out of Sam's hands. Scanning the front-page story, he took a gulp of coffee. "You think it's a lead?" he asked his nineteen year old brother. "I think it's more than a lead. It sounds like a changeling case to me. This is the fifth victim in the last six months. They are all single moms with children between the ages of seven and nine." "If this is a changeling cult we need to get out there fast. The real kids may still have a chance if we haul ass."

The brothers packed up and shipped out. Sam called Bobby from the car to let him know they had vacated his house. "What would you have done if I hadn't had coffee?" "I told you. I would have tanned your jacket." "Dean, when was the last time you made good on that threat?" "I always make good on the threat. It's just a matter of when was the last time I threatened to do that?" "I was probably seventeen and too big for my britches." Dean nodded. "You were really going to tan me over coffee?" "Seeing as I was up last night, yeah." "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you." "I don't care that you woke me. I care that you lied to me. That nightmare wasn't about losing me." "It was about losing the Dean I know." "You said there were no beasties in it." "Not the kind of beast we hunt, bro." "Sam…" "It was just a nightmare, Dean. Don't be angry with me." "I'm not angry with you, Sam." "You only call me Sam instead of Sammy when you are."

Dean was silent, watching the road. "Why do you make things so difficult, Sammy?" "I'm not trying to be difficult, Dean. It would hurt you if I told you what that stupid dream was about. There is no reason for you to think twice about it. You never pay this much attention to my dreams that do give us clues." "Those ones aren't usually about me." "Dean, you're my brother and I would do anything for you, but you have got to let this one go. It didn't mean a damn thing." "You wouldn't be lying to me about it if that were true. Promise me that you'll tell me everything if you have the dream again." "No, I'm not going to tell you about that dream. I don't care if you tan my jacket. It ain't happening, period." Dean cracked a smile. "I won't tan your jacket, Sam, but I suggest you get used to dealing with your nightmares."

Sam was stunned. Had Dean just refused to help him after a bad dream? Sam had been having nightmares for forever and Dean always woke him or stayed with him afterwards. He was always there for Sam after a nightmare. "Dean…" "If you won't let me help you, Sam, why should I try?" "Don't be a pain in the ass, Dean." "Right back at you, Sammy boy." "Just drive the fucking car." Sam turned to look out the window. Despite the fact that they were desperate to get to the kids, Sam and Dean had to pull over and sleep after sixteen hours of taking turns driving. They got a room and crashed. It wasn't long before Sam was having that same nightmare.

Sam's tossing and turning woke Dean. "Sammy, wake up, you're dreaming." "No, Dean, no! I'm sorry! I'll be good! Please don't hurt me! I didn't mean it! No, Dean, no! I'm sorry…" Sam started to scream. Dean reached out and shook his brother's shoulder. Sam jolted upright. "Take a deep breath, Sam, and welcome back to the land of the living." Sam had to make an effort to get air into his lungs. The motel room was spinning and Dean's voice was the only thing that calmed his pounding heart. Dean sat on his bed and watched Sam. The younger man shoved a hand through his shaggy hair. "I think you need to tell me what is going on in your head." Sam shook his head. "It's not important, Dean." "Damn it, Sam, you're screaming and begging me not to hurt you. How can you say it's not important?"

"Let it go, Dean, it's only a nightmare. They aren't real." "Ghosts aren't real, demons aren't real, sirens, changelings, and angels aren't real! Too many of your dreams— good or bad— come true. Don't fucking talk to me about what's real." Sam rubbed his brow as he considered his brother's words. "You're my brother and I love you, but there are some things you just don't need to know. I'm sorry I woke you." Sam lay back down and closed his eyes. Dean threw a pillow at his brother. "Don't be stupid, Sam. You know that's not good enough." "What do you want from me, Dean? I'm not discussing that dream." "I can't force you, Sammy, but I haven't heard that kind of fear in your voice since you were six."

"I have no real fear of you hurting me. Short of tanning my jacket, I'm not worried. The fact remains that you're just about the only person I trust in this world. I don't protect myself from you. It would be the easiest thing in the world for you to hurt me, and that's where the nightmare comes from." "Sammy, you're my baby brother. I can't hurt you. I don't have it in me to injure you, unless it's for your own good or to save someone else." "I know that, Dean. The thing in the dream may wear your face, but it isn't you." "What makes you so certain?" "You would've had to be in my nightmare. I just know, Dean. I know when it's you or a shape-shifter, or whatever the hell is possessing you. I live with you, sometimes closer than I ever want to be, I know when you've changed into a monster." Sam tried desperately to keep his voice from shaking, but he was unsuccessful.

"Sam, you're trembling." "I'm fine, Dean, go back to sleep." "Sammy…" Sam rolled over and put his pillow over his face. "I guess that ends that conversation," Dean murmured. The brothers rose early. Neither one showered, they just got back into the Impala. They made it the rest of the way and began to investigate. Sam found some evidence at one the houses that led them to the real kids. Then it was time to fry the cult leader. It was surprisingly effective. All the changelings disappeared. Once they had seen to the real kids, the brothers stopped for a burger and some beer. Sam hadn't been carded since he was fifteen. He took a long pull from his beer. "Are you going to get pissed at me if I get drunk off my ass?" "Nope, only if you're a bitch from your hangover." "If I pass out, I won't dream." "Waitress, two more beers, please."

Sam pounded nine beers and Dean finally cut him off. He paid the bill and pulled Sam to his feet. Draping one of Sam's arms around his shoulder, he helped Sam to the car. "If you blow chunks in the Impala, I'll castrate you." Dean got Sam into the motel room and set him down on the bed. He pulled off his brother's jacket, shoes, and jeans. "All right, Sammy, time for bed." "Dean…" "You're drunk, kid." "I'm scared, Dean." "Of what, Sammy?" "You," Sam slurred. "What do you mean of me?" Sam flipped his hand. "Not real you, dream you." "What happens in that nightmare, Sammy?" "You cut me and burn me and hurt me. It's only dream you, real you doesn't scare me." "Get some sleep, Sammy." Sam rolled over and passed out. Dean pulled up a chair and sat down to think. He didn't sleep that night.

A/N: Okay, so I updated in hopes that chapter 2 will illicit some reviews. Just one and you'll have chapter 3 & the coming of Castiel!


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: the arrival of Castiel and a fluff moment involving him

When Sam stirred the next morning, Dean handed him a cup of black coffee. Sam took a swallow and grimaced. "I feel like I've been hit by a bus." "Nine beers will do that to you." "Hell, I'm too young for this. " "Story of our life, bro." Sam drank a bit more coffee. "What do you remember from yesterday, kid?" "The last thing I remember is you ordering two more beers." "There's a couple of bananas on the counter, try to get one of them down if you wake up." "Where are you going?" "I've got some errands to run, but I'll be back for dinner." "Bring me some hangover food, would you?" Dean nodded and was gone. Sammy set the disgusting coffee on the counter and ignoring the bananas, went back to sleep.

It was well past dinner time when Dean got back. Sammy was awake and his hair was damp from the shower. "I remember last night," he said. "All of last night?" "Enough of last night," Sammy insisted. Dean shrugged, "So?" "It's not true, Dean. In the nightmare you don't do anything but beat the hell out of me. Actually, you threaten to castrate me, but I've yet to see the knife. Ironic that it's an idle threat you often make, huh?" "You don't think it's idle in the dream?" Sam shook his head. "I screw this girl you're in love with and that's why you're going to do it." Dean looked at Sam for so long, Sam started to squirm. "Honestly, Dean, it was just a stupid nightmare. I'm not about to mess with one of your chicks, you're not about to castrate me. Even if I did mess with one of your chicks, that would be a harsh punishment. Now, where the hell is my hangover food?" Dean gestured to the counter. "Awesome, hot dog Mac and cheese!"

"Humans can be so weak." "Hell and damnation, you're always playing holier than thou, Cas." Castiel picked Dean up by the throat. "Who's playing?" "Castiel?" asked Sam. Castiel released Dean and walked away, toward the window. "Hey! What the hell was that? Since when do you even touch me?" "What's the matter, Dean? You don't like being touched?" "I don't like being man-handled. Did I do something to piss you off, Castiel? I've never known you to get physical." "Anger is not an emotion I'm accustomed to. Do humans not "get physical" when they're angry?" "Are there any emotions that you _are_ accustomed to? And yes, humans get physical when they're angry. Why are you angry with Dean, Cas?" "It's not that I'm angry with Dean. I'm just trying to experiment a little with human emotions." "So how exactly did you feel when you had your hand around Dean's throat? You've killed humans before, but somehow I doubt it was through strangulation."

"I wasn't about to kill him, Samuel. Dean is the only human I've ever had any kind of affection for. Why would I kill him?" "I don't know, Cas. Why would you hurt him by closing your hand around his throat?" Castiel reached out and fingered the place where he'd grabbed Dean. Normally, Dean wouldn't allow Castiel to touch him like this, but he was willing to allow it if it put Castiel more in touch with what it meant to be on Earth among humans. "Did that hurt?" "You picked me up by the throat, Castiel! It didn't tickle." "I'm sorry, Dean." "There's a new emotion for you, Cas. Compassion or empathy," Dean snapped. "I didn't mean to hurt you; I was just opening up to my anger." "I'm with Sam on this one. What the hell has you so pissed off?" "Some of the other angels are infuriating." "You're supposed to hurt the person you're angry at, not who ever happens to be nearby!" snarled Dean.

Sam massaged his temples. He hated being hung-over, but it had been nice to be drunk and forget everything for awhile. Castiel reached out and placed two fingers on Sam's forehead. In a split second, Sam felt better than ever. "Thanks, Castiel, I owe you one." "Like I said, humans can be so weak." "And angels can be such a monstrous pain in the neck." "You mean that literally, don't you, Dean?" "Just at this moment, Cas." Castiel shook his head and sat down on one of the beds. It was Dean's turn to reach out and touch Castiel. He rested his hand on Castiel's shoulder. "You need to sleep, Cas. Once you do, things will go back to normal." "Jimmy needs to sleep, angels never do." "So let go of your vessel and take off for a while. Jimmy's body will sleep and you can get away for a bit." "Maybe you're right, Dean. It's worth a shot. I'll be back in the morning, just dump Jimmy on the floor. Now, close your eyes until I get out of here." Sam and Dean shielded their eyes from the blinding flash that was Castiel's departure.

"That was really bizarre," Sam remarked. "I've never seen him run hot and cold like that before." "I guess he really is just trying to get used to what it is like to feel. Humans spend so much time blocking their emotions or squishing them. Angels never have them at all." "It is hard to imagine that," Sam said with a shrug. "I will still take Castiel over Uriel any day." "You can say that again, big brother." Dean and Sam moved Jimmy onto the floor. It was weird to see the shell of Castiel. Both men crawled into bed and fell asleep. The next morning around nine, Sam and Dean stirred as a bright light came into the room. Both of them kept their eyes shut until the light disappeared. When they opened their eyes, Jimmy Novak once again belonged to Castiel, angel of the Lord. "How was your night, Cas?" "It was fine, Dean." "You no longer have the urge to close your hand around my throat?" "I'm ready to re-direct my anger toward the angel it is meant for."

"What are you waiting for?" asked Sam. "He's an archangel." "Oh, well that changes things. You don't typically want to grab Heaven's greatest weapon by the throat." "He doesn't really have a throat you can grab unless he has a meat suit." "Do archangels usually take vessels?" "It's rare. They lend a quality to humans that makes it very hard for them to blend in." "How so?" asked Dean. "It's like getting a total make-over. I'm talking overhaul. It makes them look almost like a different person. Anyone who knew them before can't really see them afterwards or they'd have to explain it. Anyone who meets them afterwards finds them exceptionally beautiful." "Have we ever seen one?" asked Sam. "You would know it if you had. They radiate celestial power. You remember the one tied to Chuck the prophet?" "Yeah, it shook everything like an earthquake and made Lilith scream out of her newest meat suit." "Have you ever felt anything that powerful?" "Only when I was in Hell with Lucifer," Dean answered softly.

Castiel smacked Dean upside the head. Dean grabbed the angel by the collar of Jimmy's trench coat and shoved him backwards into the wall. Castiel pushed off the wall and pinned Dean to the bed by the throat. "That's enough!" he roared. "You started this, Castiel!" rasped Dean. "And I'm going to finish it, too." Castiel released Dean for the second time in as many days. "That's it. You are to stay at least eight inches away from me at all times. I don't want you touching me," Dean snarled. "That's the best thing about being an angel: I don't have to care what you want." "I've killed a lot of demons in my time, Castiel. I have no real desire to add an angel to the list, but I will." "I've killed many demons myself. Humans, too, which means I've already added your kind to my list." "You told me you respect us as your Father's creations and view us as works of art." "That I do, but at the moment I'm leaning toward Uriel's designation of mud monkeys."

"Castiel! Look, I'm not about to let you bitch slap me every time I say something you don't agree with or don't like. I don't strike you when you piss me off and I ask that you show me the same courtesy." "I'm beginning to think having emotions is more trouble than it's worth. Once again, I'm sorry, Dean. I will control myself and show you the courtesy you ask for." "I want to be able to help you understand humans, Cas. In order for that to happen you have to learn to respect human boundaries. You will always be stronger and more powerful than me or Sam or any other human you meet. That doesn't mean you can push us around and hurt us for no good reason. We have a word for that on Earth: bully. I've had enough bullies in my life, got it?" "Yes, Dean, I understand. I didn't mean it; let me make it up to you." "How?" Dean asked warily. "Have you ever hugged an angel?"

"Cas, I usually don't even hug Sammy, so why would I want to hug Jimmy Novak?" "You wouldn't really be hugging Jimmy." "How am I supposed to hug you if I can't even look at you? Do you have a secret way to dim your light, Cas?" "Dean, you know that I took Jimmy's body when he died. That's why when I vacate it, there's no one left inside. Angels normally don't do that. They find a living person who is willing to be a vessel to aid Heaven-kind. I knew that my stay on Earth could prove lengthy and I didn't want to jerk a live vessel around that way. The problem is, I am much stronger than Jimmy's body and if I stay in it for too long, it starts to disintegrate. I sort of have to keep myself pulled back a little inside Jimmy and I often vacate him when I'm "sleeping" in my motel room." "What does this have to do with a hug, Cas?" "It means I can bring myself to the surface of Jimmy's body and it will be like hugging me through a t-shirt."

Dean seemed to consider this for a moment. "Are you offering this because you think it would be the human thing to do?" "No, I'm offering this because I know it to be something that humans enjoy." "You forget that I've had sex with an angel, Castiel." "Anna did not have her Grace when she slept with you. It makes a huge difference, Dean." "You should do it, Dean. When was the last time you were hugged by someone who you knew was strong enough to protect you and not the other way around?" asked Sam. "Aw, what the hell," Dean shrugged. Castiel stepped forward and wrapped his arms around Dean. It was indescribable. As cliché as it sounded, there were no words for how it felt to be hugged by an angel. It just felt so incredibly safe, like nothing in the world could ever hurt you because you were pressed against something that was above it all. "Thanks, Castiel. That makes up for you being such a bitch." "I'm glad. Now imagine Graceful angel sex."

"Was that an offer, Castiel?" Castiel actually blushed. "To be honest, Dean, angels are flexible with gender, but do you really want to have sex with Jimmy Novak?" "If I were actually serious, which I'm not, you couldn't relocate for an hour?" "Foolish human, I refuse to change meat suits like a demon." "Then I guess I'll have to take what I can get," Dean smiled. Sam couldn't help it, he busted up laughing. Castiel disappeared without another word. Dean smiled after the angel. "Hey, I'm going to get out of here for a little. I feel great and I've been stuck here for awhile," Sam said. Dean pulled the keys to the Impala out of his pocket and handed them to his brother. "You stay off the booze. I know how much this life can suck, but sometimes I forget you're still only nineteen years old." "Don't worry, Dean, I don't drink and drive, especially not in your baby." "Yeah, I know. Go on, but make sure you're back by dark. We'll get some grub, a good night's sleep, and look for a new lead tomorrow morning," Dean said. Sam nodded and headed out the door.

A/N2: As promised, one review and a new chapter. The rule still applies…


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: I am so sorry this took so long, guys! My computer had to be fixed. Here's the next chapter. I have one more ready after this, but it will cost ya… one review

Dean took a shower. As he turned off the water and pulled back the curtain, he discovered that Castiel had returned. "Is there something you forgot, Cas?" Dean reached for his towel. He wasn't worried about being naked. Castiel had been around for Adam and Eve. He had probably seen his fair share of naked humans over the years. Besides, Castiel had given him a quick once over and then focused on his face. "I just came back to tell you that you really should have sex with a Graceful angel." "I'm sure it would be incredible, but last I checked, Anna's a little busy and there's not exactly a line." "Actually, there is. I've been talking to the femmes and they think you're gorgeous." "It's not that I'm against having sex with strangers, but I don't need to tell you that angels are powerful creatures. I'm not certain I want to make myself vulnerable to an angel I don't trust." "Then I guess I'll send Anna your way when she's allowed out of Heaven."

"Hey, Cas?" asked Dean. "Yeah?" replied Castiel. "What's it like to kiss an angel?" "Well, if a hug was indescribable…" Castiel shrugged. "Yeah, I guess I'll have to wait and find out." Castiel reached out to touch Dean, but Dean took a step back. "Eight inches," he snapped before he could stop himself. Castiel disappeared. "Cas! Castiel! Come back here, come on, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. Castiel!" yelled Dean. "What?" snarled Castiel as he reappeared. "I take it back. Come on, just do whatever you were about to." "No, you've made it abundantly clear that I'm not to touch you." "Castiel…" Before Castiel could register what was happening, Dean had grabbed him by the trench coat and crashed their lips together. Castiel held himself back so that Dean was effectively kissing the cold, dead lips of Jimmy Novak.

They broke apart. "That was all Jimmy," Dean snapped. Castiel nodded. "Excuse me while I go scrub my mouth with steel wool." Dean went into the bathroom and grabbed the bottle of mouthwash. He began to gargle and Castiel smiled. "I'm impressed, Dean. You knew what you wanted and you went after it, consequences non-withstanding." Dean spit out the mouthwash. "If you're so impressed, why didn't you give me what I wanted?" He took another gulp of mouthwash. "A hug is one thing, Dean, but a kiss is something else. Kissing is a precursor to sex." "Not always," Dean protested once he'd spit again. "Between an angel and a human, it becomes always. You have to understand that it creates an over-powering lust. If I kissed you, it would leave every part of you screaming for more. That screaming wouldn't stop until I'd launched you into another world."

"Sex is such a human thing, Castiel. How do you know so much about it?" "I've been told by other angels. Like I said, I talked to the femmes. They're angels with missions on Earth who never pass up a chance to have sex with a human. My Father never intended his creations to mix so he does not meddle with our decisions. Sex is something He created for His humans, but it's natural to want to experience things that aren't meant for you. After all, there are many humans who wish to fly and that's not something that was created for them." "So He lets His older creations experiment with His younger ones?" demanded Dean. "Not necessarily. Keep in mind that humans are the authority on sex because most angels have never had it," Castiel pointed out.

"I wouldn't be any more comfortable than you would be, Cas, because I'm not flexible with gender." "Trust me, Dean. You don't want to have sex through the t-shirt veil of Jimmy Novak." "Castiel, you could switch bodies with Anna, and it wouldn't change my decision one way or another because it would still be you." "Let me put it to you this way, Dean. Do you know all those words that people use when they've just had sex that is close to indescribable? Like electrifying or ravished or raw, almost broken open, but in a really good way?" "Yes," Dean said with a nod. "They are words that were first used by a man to describe to his brother what it was like to have sex with a Graceful angel. At first we weren't sure how much merit it really held because the man was gay and he slept with a male vessel. We waited it out and that seemed to be the general consensus." "What about sex with an archangel?" "That would kill a human. Most angels can barely handle it."

"This archangel that you're not on good terms with… what has you so pissed at him?" "It's a celestial matter," Castiel shrugged. "Did you have sex with him?" "The thing is, you don't really have sex _with_ an archangel. It's more like you lie for them and let them do what they want to you. They'll let you know what they want from you, if anything. The number one thing about being with an archangel is that you don't refuse them anything." "So angels do have a form of sex that is for pleasure? It's not just for reproductive purposes?" asked Dean. Castiel sort of shrugged. "It's not like human sex, but I can't explain it to you. The best frame of reference I have for it is the type of sex you're used to, but it's really totally different."

"Is there a way for a human to have sex with an angel that doesn't have a meat suit?" asked Dean. "Nothing comes to mind. Grace is what makes an angel shine so brightly, so an angel without Grace could do it without a meat suit, but that defeats the purpose. Besides, Anna was perfectly accurate in her description of what it is like to lose your Grace." "It really would be like cutting out your kidney with a butter knife?" asked Dean. Castiel nodded. Dean shoved his hand through his hair. "I won't have sex with a Graceful angel who I don't trust and right now the only one I do trust is you, Cas. So where does that leave me?" "A celestial virgin," Castiel shrugged. "You're not funny," Dean snapped. "I was entirely serious, Dean. That is a line that I will not cross with you, so until you find another angel you trust…" Castiel shrugged again. "You're the one who suggested I sleep with a Graceful angel!" "Only because I assumed you'd be about as picky with angels as you are with humans."

"Does that mean you think I'm a slut?" "No, I think you're a human and humans are weak. They give into the temptations of sex and alcohol." "We're back to holier-than-thou, Castiel." "Every creature has its weakness, Dean, angels included. I don't claim to be perfect, but there are things I will not do. Even though I want to," he added softly. Dean studied the angel. Castiel did want to be the one who Dean had Graceful sex with. "If you want it, what is stopping you, Castiel?" "At the risk of sounding like a female, I'm concerned about what it would do to our friendship, Dean. We have a lot of work to do, saving the world, and we don't need personal issues complicating that further. Besides, what would you tell your baby brother?" "The truth, that's what I mostly tell him. I'm not looking for complicated; I just want a little pleasure. One kiss, Castiel, and we'll leave it at that." "I know that I'm going to regret this, but close your eyes." Dean closed his eyes and Castiel slipped out of Jimmy Novak to press his lips against the human's.

"I've been to Hell, but that's the closest I've been to Heaven." Dean opened his eyes when he was sure Castiel was back in Jimmy's body. "I almost can't speak," he admitted. "What do you feel, Dean?" "I feel humbled, like I was unworthy of what you just did. I feel pleasure that I don't have the words to describe. I feel longing for you to finish what I feel you just started, as you told me I would. I feel like I would sacrifice almost anything to have you do it again. All of this terrifies me the way no monster ever could. Have a missed anything?" "How about a 'you were right, Castiel, this was a bad idea'?" Dean considered this. "No, I haven't felt so good for a very long time. The pleasure that you just gave me will last me weeks and too much of my life has been spent in unhappiness. The truth is, I needed you to do what you did and I pray that if the time comes when I need it again, you'll do it again."

Castiel shoved both hands through his hair. It was the first nervous gesture Dean had ever seen the angel make. "After something that brought us so close there needs to be space, Dean. It will be quite some time before you see me in person again." Dean nodded. "I understand, Castiel. I'll just tell Sammy we had it out and you can call him if you have info for us. Goodbye, Cas." "Until we meet again, friend." Castiel disappeared. It was the first time he'd said goodbye before doing so.

Sam returned with a woman who was severely injured. "God forbid we have a normal evening," Dean swore. "Where's the fun in that?" asked Sam. He helped the woman onto one of the beds. "Castiel!" he screamed. Dean began to raise the woman's shirt to check the wound that was just below her rib cage. "Hi, I'm Dean." "Angela," she gasped. "What happened to you, Angela?" "Stabbed," she managed. "It must have been a hell of a knife," Dean remarked. "Soaked in demon blood," she panted. "Castiel!" roared Sam. The angel appeared. "You'll raise all those you've banished, Samuel!" "Sorry, Cas, but I've got a dying hunter here." "What the hell do you want me to do about it?" Dean had never heard Castiel swear. "Show him, Angela." "No, I won't do it." Sam reached for her and she pulled back sharply. "What are you going to do, Sam, kill me?" she shrieked.

"Come on, damn it. You have to show it to him, Angela." "No, Sam, I don't. Just leave me alone." "This is your shot, Angela. It's your last chance." "I've made my decision, Sam." "Then I'm sorry, Angela." Sam grabbed her wrist. "No, Sam, son of a bitch, no!" It was too late; Sam had exposed the underside of her left wrist to Castiel. There was a winged shaped imprint on it. Angela wretched her arm out of his grip and slapped him as hard as she could. "You saved an angel," Castiel exclaimed. "Yes, I did. It was a long time ago. Now just leave me alone," Angela snapped. "Come on, sweetheart, there's got to be something you want." "Wait, there's more," Sam said. He touched the wound and rubbed some of the demon blood over the imprint. It started to glow with blue light.

Castiel immediately put both hands over her wound and it disappeared. "Name it and I'll do everything I can to make it happen." Angela looked at her stomach where the wound had been. "I have two wishes." "Go for it, honey." "My brother has been missing for three years. I want him here, now." Castiel closed his eyes and was silent for a moment. "Found him, I'll be right back." He disappeared and then re-appeared with a man about Dean's age. "Kyle, I didn't think I'd see you again." The siblings embraced and kissed. "I'm so glad you're safe. Now my second wish; I want to have sex with an archangel." "You'll die," Castiel told her. "Good, I want to go out in ecstasy. I'm sick of this life and you all know there's no leaving it."

"I'll do what I can," Castiel said softly. "This is what I want, Castiel. I deserve to get what I want after everything I've done." "Close your eyes, all of you." They obeyed and Castiel left Jimmy Novak, presumably to go speak with an archangel. "Angela," Kyle started. "No, save it, Kyle. I know you're safe and you've learned to live without me, so just keep doing that. I'm done with this. I want to finish with this the best way possible and that is with complete and total pleasure." Castiel returned. He was panting heavily. "You've got your wish," he said. "Did he hurt you?" asked Angela. "He and I have some history. You leave that to me." "When does he want me?" "He'll come as soon as you call for him. He has consented to let the rest of the humans see him since they work so hard. His name is Azrael."

"Castiel," snarled Dean. "What is it, Dean?" asked Sam. "In the Islamic faith, Azrael is the angel of death." Castiel shook his head. "He is regarded as the angel of death that doesn't mean he is. To be perfectly honest, it doesn't make a difference. After all, Angela is the only one who is set to die." "Azrael," Angela called. A split second later the most beautiful man any of them had ever seen appeared in the room. "Castiel," he acknowledged. His voice was like silk. "Azrael, you're beautiful as always." "Well I'm granting a dying wish aren't I? Tell me, darling, which of my younger siblings did you save?" "You don't have to tell him that, Angela." A ripple of power went through the room. "Stay out of this, Castiel." Azrael's voice had chilled. "Careful, Azrael, there's only supposed to be one death tonight."

Azrael hit Castiel and they all heard the bones in Jimmy's neck break. "Castiel," Dean yelled as Jimmy went down. "Relax, human, he can fix his meat suit. Remember that Jimmy Novak is nothing but a corpse anyway." "Everyone close your eyes," Sam said. The other humans obeyed him and Castiel slipped out of Jimmy and mended his body. "Are you finished, Castiel?" "Why don't you just do what you came here to, Azrael? You and I will finish some other time." Azrael grabbed Castiel by the back of the neck and Castiel screamed. Suddenly, the black shadows that were Castiel's wings on Earth appeared. Fearing what Azrael would do to the angel who had helped her, Angela spoke up. "The angel I saved went by the human name Simon, he never told me any different. I was very young when it happened."

Azrael released Castiel. "Take the other humans and go," he snapped at the angel. "Why do you hurt him, Azrael, if you consider him your brother?" The question was out before Sam could stop it. "I would think that you would know by now that angel relationships are very different than human ones, Samuel. Go on, get out of here. I'm losing my patience," Azrael answered. Kyle and Angela pulled out of their final embrace. "See you on the other side, baby brother." "I love you, Angela." "I love you, too, Kyle." Castiel took the other three from the room. The moment they landed in Castiel's hotel room, he slapped Sam upside the head. "You could've gotten yourself killed! Damn it, Sam, did he seem like he was up for a friendly q and a?" snarled Castiel. "You poked him way more than I did!" "Yes, because if he kills me he has to face our Father. If he kills you the only one he'll have to face is Dean." Sam shook his head, disgusted. "Come on, Kyle, I'll buy you a beer." They left.

"Castiel, why did you ask Azrael if the two of you have been fighting?" asked Dean. "I knew Azrael would do it. He's so good and gentle, Dean, that I can't imagine a better way for her to exit this world." "What do you mean, good and gentle?" "He's very angry with me right now, Dean. You have to remember that he is a very powerful creature and that makes him somewhat volatile, but as far as being with a human… There's no one better," Castiel swore. "Why is he angry with you, Castiel? And this time I want a real answer," Dean demanded. "I refused to lay for him." "This morning you told me that nobody refuses an archangel." "Yeah, well, I did and instead of forcing me like any other archangel would have, he backed off. Yes, he has been violent with me and he did hurt me when I asked him for this favor. Normally, it would be Simon's responsibility, but he's otherwise engaged."

"Is he just going to keep hurting you until you acquiesce to him, Castiel?" "Maybe, but it doesn't really matter. Tomorrow night when this is all said and done I will lay for him if he wants me to." "Why are you giving in now? Is it because he's helping Angela?" "Not necessarily, I just want to please him. I'm tired of him being mad at me. He's my brother, Dean, and he did right by me. He didn't force me into anything." "No, he's just hurting you until he gets what he wants." "He's hurting me because he's angry. Once that fades, he will stop, even if I don't give in to him."

"What I am supposed to do if I find myself where Angela is at?" "Ready to exit this world?" asked Castiel. Dean nodded. "You hold on until you're told to do otherwise. Her time has come and when yours does, I will do what I can to make it easy on you." "I appreciate that, Cas, but could you try to make it easy on Sammy?" Castiel smiled. "I'll look after your baby brother, assuming you die first." "I had better die first," snorted Dean. "I have to go now, Dean." "I want you to stay, Castiel. Lie down beside me and stay, at least until I fall asleep." "Why, Dean, what difference will that make?" "Sammy is right, you're one of the only creatures in this world who can actually protect me and after seeing Angela tonight, I want the illusion of being safe." "Very well, Dean, I will lay beside you, but I ask that you do not touch me. I told you, we have been too close as of late." "I promise I'll behave, Cas." Castiel snorted. "That will be the day."


End file.
